I miss the Old-man. He's upset that I won't talk to him but what I can say to him that he'll listen. I've told him everything I know and everything he needs. He asked for godly advice and then makes his bed with the ungodly. That's a slap in the face, so yes, I'm upset. Still...

It hurts to see him anymore. You pour your heart and soul into something, like witnessing to the lost, and then (as my sister bekah says) something just goes horribly wrong and you think that all your hard work was in vain. Of course deep down I know that the Word of God does not return void and that it's all ulitmately in God's good time but still...it hurts. I guess that means I'm doing something right.

Sharing the Word of God isn't as easy as it sounds. He can't begin to understand what it's like spending nights on my face in tears, in supplication and prayer, crying out to my God for his salvation. It has taken it's toll on me these past few months, phsycially and emotionally (oh, what my poor hubbie has to put up with). God has both blessed and cursed me with a big heart, metaphorically speaking.

And that hearts breaks everytime I see the Old-man. And when I think about her. If only for the short time I knew her, I hope something got through. I pray for both of them still with an inhuman strenght that is not my own.

Ndosch

To live is Christ, to die is gain!

Phillipians 1:21